(insert witty title here)

Wow, it has been awhile.  I know.  I have been doing terrible with keeping up with these blog posts, but no worries I'm still alive and still writing just not as frequently.  I'll try and get back in the swing of things but the last few weeks have been crazy.  So since my last post, my brother is now living with me and let me tell you being responsible for a kid (getting all the appointments in order, cooking for a picky eater, and the other stuff) is super hard.  Totally not ready to be a for real parent, most def.  I also was able to take some time off and spend time with Ryan for our anniversary.  It really is crazy that we have been married a year now; doesn't really feel like it.  I would be lying if I said everything was rainbows and butterflies all the time, but despite whatever life has thrown at us we have been able to overcome it together.  There is no one else I'd rather be by my side.  Ryan, you are my world and I love you.  We spent our anniversary kayaking together and sharing a lovely (cheap) dinner together because that is how we roll.  Also, had my mother-in-law and sister-in-law come up and visit.  I was super excited to see everyone and have a full house, but now I'm enjoying the quite.  Tj is at the lake house and Rory and I get to spend the rest of the evening watching food network and reading.

Since that is a recap of the last few weeks, I guess now I can figure out what I would like to do for the next month.  What should I focus on?  When I sat down and thought about doing this, I made a rough plan of what I would write about each month.  Obviously, I have diverged from that plan.  Things change and people change.  There is always something new to learn and something new to experience.  Only you can be the one to decide whether it is worse the risk or not.  I guess other the last few days, I have learned a lot about how people perceive me.  Normally, I generally considered myself crass, extremely blunt, and generally kind of a jerk.  I like to tell it as it is and I'm not afraid to call you out on your actions.  But maybe there is a little bit more to me.  I'm not exactly encouraging or kind, but every now and then I do have moments of wisdom and apparently I have some awesome charisma.  I've never really been one to be in the spot light, if anything I rather be behind the scenes.  The thing about being in the spot light is that everyone is watching you and analyzing everything you do.  After being a pastor's child for years that is the very last place I would want to be.  The thing about people watching you though is sometimes they see something in you that you never see yourself.  They see what you could be and what you are.  Everything is out in the opening and there you are exposed.  Why is everyone so fearful of themselves?  Are they scared they wont be accepted or can they just not except themselves.  I am many things.  Loud, arrogant, demanding, but I am also generous, patient (well most days and except in traffic), and enthusiastic.  No, I'm not perfect but I am me.  And I never want to be anyone else.