Feb. 25

I wanted to take the time to speak a little about how love has shaped and inspired me.  We all have people in our lives that we aspire to be like and I have been truly blessed to have some amazing people in my life.  My family has always been a huge part of my life and although they are insane (If you have ever sat around a table with us, you would understand) there has always been a huge out pouring of love and support.  My parents have never been shy with expressing their feelings for each other and honestly its still super gross.  They are such a huge inspiration to me not only about showing love, but learning to compromise, and that love is a sacrifice.  They spend a lot of time separated with my dad traveling and all but when they are with each other they make every moment count.  Being separated from Ryan is extremely difficult and some days are worse than others, but when we are together I want to make it count and live each day loving him.  Without their example, I wouldn't know how to love and to be loved.  I can't even to begin to express my thanks for all the sacrifices they made for me and my siblings.  Anything from coaching a sports team, sitting through extremely long band concerts (especially when we sucked at our instruments), and taking time off work to go to a camp with us, they have always been willing to support us no matter what we do.  So I just wanted to take the time to thank my parents for everything they do for me.  I love you guys.

P.S.  I know I'm your favorite child.

Forgiveness....it's more than saying Sorry

Feb. 19

I know, I know I'm late at posting.  Believe me when I say it was for the best.  I wasn't in the best of moods yesterday and I'm afraid that this blog would have been extremely bitter.  But no worries, my dear audience, today I'm in a slightly better mood.  Sometimes, life is just extremely frustrating and you just want to scream at the top of your lungs or in my case a combination of yelling and punching.  Anyways, the day is over and the past is in the past, right?  I know I'm guilty of this myself but we can claim the past is in the past and talk about how we are going to do better and how this time will be different...  Words.  That's all it is.  Words without action are meaningless.  You can make all the claims in the world and never put the action behind it.  The same is true of forgiveness.  You can say how much you forgive someone and still hold a grudge about the wrong they did to you.  The thing about love is that its not just words, its action.  This is especially true of forgiveness.  I constantly struggle with forgiveness and letting go of the past.  Some things still haunt me and every now and then they like to creep up and poke at my mind and make me doubt myself.  My thoughts on forgiveness is that they stem from love.  You have to love the person enough to let go of the past and love them enough to go beyond words to truly forgive.

Feb. 11

Love. What can I say about love.  Valentine's day is coming up (better get your sweetheart something special) and people are just going insane.  Booking reservations and trying to make the night perfect is way too much work.  Maybe you are like me and are planning a shopping excursion for the day after to stock up on all the half-priced candy.  It's strange how hyped up people get over such a lame holiday (any holiday you don't get the day off is not a holiday in my opinion).  I think with all the rushing around and preparations people seem to overlook how just being together without all of the flair is so much more important.  This past weekend, I got to go back to Starkville and visit Ryan.  I would be a liar if I said the distance wasn't effecting both of us, but somehow when we are able to be together everything just falls into place.  It's always difficult to try and make the time we get together count since it seems like our imminent departure looms overhead.  I'm trying to enjoy the little things and sometimes that just includes trips to the hospital in the early morning, or walking around talking about nothing, or a heart-to-heart in the middle of a restaurant.  Sometimes, I just get overwhelmed with everything and neglect to enjoy every moment.  I am in love with my husband and each day we are apart my love for him only grows.  I don't know what I did to be so blessed, but I am so thankful for Ryan and everything he is.  Because without him, I'm not my whole self.  I love you, Ryan.

February - Stupid Cupid

Feb. 5

Everything in this world revolves around love in some way or another.  Love is in the air and with Valentine's Day right around the corner and the aisles stuffed with stupid bears who love you "beary much," an endless supply of chocolate, and crappy chalk heart candies one would only guess that I'm focusing this month on love.  Love comes in many shapes and forms.  Some people spend their lives chasing love and others simply spend it running away from it.  Am I a love expert? Heck no. I just thought I would talk about love and not just love of significant other, but love of yourself and others.  That's always the hard part, right? Waking up each day and choosing to love someone.  My belief on love is falling in love is the easy part, but the journey and choosing to continue to love and to allow yourself to be loved is the hard part.  Little bit of a different perspective huh?  Love is hard work and the movies and books make it seem so simple.  Love is so much more than they make it out to be.  It's not just this butterflies in your stomach crap, it's a sacrifice and a sacrifice I'm willing to make.  You give up part of yourself and become something more.  Does it hurt? Heck yeah.  There is pain, loneliness, confusion but out of all of throughout the journey there is so much more: hope, life, joy, peace.  You just got to be willing to make the jump.