For Suzanne

This week has quite possibly been one of the hardest ones I have had to endure.  This week, I have had to say goodbye for the last time to one of the greatest women I have ever known.  She was like a second mother to me, always full of encouragement, advice, and laughter.  She fought and endured and was a perfect example of what a Godly woman should be.  She was always willing to sit and down and listen to every thing you had to say and offer up encouragement.  But rather than focus on loss, I want to celebrate life.  So this post, I decided to share some of my favorite memories of Suzanne Higgs and celebrate her life.

Pretty much since I can remember, Suzanne was always the devious one with always trying to play matchmaker.  Granted most of the time she knew who I had my eye on at the time, but she was always trying to set me up with one of the boys from church.  Let's see there was John, Joe, and Michael that she encouraged me towards, most likely within the same week.  She was always one to give relationship advice and you could always approach her with whatever probley you happened to have.

Suzanne constantly planned parties, whether it be for Halloween, Christmas, or even a celebration of her own creation the mother-daughter banquet.  Every year, up until I moved away, I would help her in all her prep work along side Amanda and Chelsea.  Amanda and I would have music playing and were constantly belting Broadway songs at the top of our lungs and Suzanne would just laugh at our antics and dramatic flair.  She would also gives us hints on how to flirt with the servers.  (I'm telling you always playing matchmaker!)

I think quite possibly one of my favorite memories is when we would go out on "Chicklets" outings (basically the GA's group).  Suzanne setup anywhere to photo scavenger hunts to dares that had to be preformed in public places.  Her scavenger hunts always had the goofiest pictures we had to take.  I think the funniest one we had to do was "Take a picture with a hot guy".  Of course she was in my group and I got talked into walking up to a "hot guy" and ask him if he would take his picture with us.  If anything it helped me get over my shyness, cause I was in it to win it!  As for the dares in public places....I think we were in high school where we randomly had to draw a piece of paper out a hat which held our dare.  They were always hilarious like acting like a small child in the children's section, or standing in front of some awkward books and bust out into song  .

There are so many memories I have of Suzanne I can't even begin to express them all.  If there was any one thing she taught me, was to live each day to the fullest and have a day filled with love and laughter.  And that's exactly how she lived her life; making each and every moment count.  We said goodbye to an amazing woman today, but heaven gained a magnificent angel.  Suzanne, I love you and will miss you.  Save me a seat in the altos section; I'll be seeing you again.

Honeymooners

March 18

As you know been working on my music.  Haven't bought the silent mute yet, but we did have some unexpected expenses came up.  I plan on getting the mute within the next week because buzzing in the mouthpiece freaks Rory out (let's me honest pretty much everything does).  Plus, if you haven't seen the awesome videos of my and Zoey that Hilary posted, you need to.  They are totes adorbes (for Kat she is all about totes). In other news, Ryan had spring break this past week and while he spent most of it in Ohio for EcoCar, he still managed to drive to Huntsville to visit me.  Of course because MS/AL roads are ghetto, he hit a huge pothole and damaged his wheel bearing. So the positive is he got to stay an extra day with me, the negative is the $500 expense for the car.  This weekend has been better than I would've imagined.  It's funny that this is pretty much the longest time we have got to spend with each other since our honeymoon.  I loved having him here and getting to spend time together watching movies, cooking together, and house hunting.  We are still working together with where do we want to go next.  Whether or not to start looking for houses or renew my apartment lease for another year till Ryan gets up here.  Decisions, decisions.  Well, whatever the outcome I'm thankful I have Ryan with me every step of the way.  I loved having him here, even though I had a Lisa Mosser freak out when he left his dirty clothes on the floor.  He's goofy, frustrating, but most of all he is mine.  I love you, Ryan.

March 12

Many of you know that Lent has been going down and I had to sacrifice my most treasured beverage, coffee.  Trust me when I say it has been rough.  I'm not the only one who gave some stuff up.  Kristin gave up sweets (she is much stronger than I) and Eric aka Airbear had to give up eating out except for once a week.  Apparently, you have to threaten not to speak to him in order for him to eat better.  Needless to say he has been doing an amazing job and I'm super proud of him.  I mean going from eating out 1-2 times a day to one a week is a huge downgrade.  I'm just hoping he sees all of the positives of this change.  (Happy Eric? There's your shout out!) So as I mentioned in my last post, I plan on picking up my trumpet again and getting back into playing it.  Sadly, I have the misfortune of living in an apartment with a skittish dog and neighbors so I haven't been able to play my horn as of yet.  Next pay period I'll be ordering a silent mute system so while I'm still sucking at playing I won't be disturbing anyone.  So for the time being I'm rocking it out high school style by buzzing on my mouthpiece.  Is it bad I've been keeping it in my pocket again?  I mean I have to sit in traffic so I might as well practice, right?  I did manage to give my horn a bath this weekend and clean it out.  It wasn't nearly as funky fresh as I thought it would be.  Looks good doesn't it?  Also, need to get a tuner because don't want to be sounding too much like a train wreck.

Super Sexy Trumpet

Anyways, I've been thinking about music in my day to day life.  I mean I talk on the phone all day so I mean sooner or later I'm going to be put on hold.  And you know what that means...hold music.  Most of the time hold music is about as annoying as elevator music.  You have all different kinds like Brahms (maybe the plan is for you to fall asleep so they don't have to talk to you), or the awful informational messages with a peppy beat in the background.  Every now and then, I get to call someone with awesome hold music.  The best one yet was "Inspiration" by Chicago.  Of course seeing as this was the only time I got good hold music, I was just jamming out in my office singing the words when my boss walks by.  Typical.  I guess what I'm getting at is there is music, everywhere and maybe if people just slowed down a bit and listened the world would be a much cooler place.

March Madness!!!!

March 4

Another month, another decision.  What should I focus on this month?  I have been thinking about it for awhile and I did decide on a theme.  Not only is the month about basketball, Mardi Gras and Lent, but its also about music.  I think music has always been a big part of my life.  Growing up I was exposed to all kinds of music.  In my dad's car it was always country (at least until Dad discover his man-crush Neo) and in my mom's car it was always a combination of classic rock and Christian music.  Beyond that, mom was always playing the piano.  I think my fondest memory is my mom playing, while my dad sang with her.  It's pretty amazing how music can bring us together, whether it be in a time of mourning or a time of triumph.  Music is not limited and is free in interpenetration.  So this month, I want to get back to music.  I miss playing my trumpet and I miss all the feelings that I experienced while playing music.  I want to pick up the cheap guitar I bought forever ago and learn how to play it.  This month I'll be getting back to music.  Please say a prayer for my neighbors; it's going to be a rough ride.

Feb. 25

I wanted to take the time to speak a little about how love has shaped and inspired me.  We all have people in our lives that we aspire to be like and I have been truly blessed to have some amazing people in my life.  My family has always been a huge part of my life and although they are insane (If you have ever sat around a table with us, you would understand) there has always been a huge out pouring of love and support.  My parents have never been shy with expressing their feelings for each other and honestly its still super gross.  They are such a huge inspiration to me not only about showing love, but learning to compromise, and that love is a sacrifice.  They spend a lot of time separated with my dad traveling and all but when they are with each other they make every moment count.  Being separated from Ryan is extremely difficult and some days are worse than others, but when we are together I want to make it count and live each day loving him.  Without their example, I wouldn't know how to love and to be loved.  I can't even to begin to express my thanks for all the sacrifices they made for me and my siblings.  Anything from coaching a sports team, sitting through extremely long band concerts (especially when we sucked at our instruments), and taking time off work to go to a camp with us, they have always been willing to support us no matter what we do.  So I just wanted to take the time to thank my parents for everything they do for me.  I love you guys.

P.S.  I know I'm your favorite child.

Forgiveness....it's more than saying Sorry

Feb. 19

I know, I know I'm late at posting.  Believe me when I say it was for the best.  I wasn't in the best of moods yesterday and I'm afraid that this blog would have been extremely bitter.  But no worries, my dear audience, today I'm in a slightly better mood.  Sometimes, life is just extremely frustrating and you just want to scream at the top of your lungs or in my case a combination of yelling and punching.  Anyways, the day is over and the past is in the past, right?  I know I'm guilty of this myself but we can claim the past is in the past and talk about how we are going to do better and how this time will be different...  Words.  That's all it is.  Words without action are meaningless.  You can make all the claims in the world and never put the action behind it.  The same is true of forgiveness.  You can say how much you forgive someone and still hold a grudge about the wrong they did to you.  The thing about love is that its not just words, its action.  This is especially true of forgiveness.  I constantly struggle with forgiveness and letting go of the past.  Some things still haunt me and every now and then they like to creep up and poke at my mind and make me doubt myself.  My thoughts on forgiveness is that they stem from love.  You have to love the person enough to let go of the past and love them enough to go beyond words to truly forgive.

Feb. 11

Love. What can I say about love.  Valentine's day is coming up (better get your sweetheart something special) and people are just going insane.  Booking reservations and trying to make the night perfect is way too much work.  Maybe you are like me and are planning a shopping excursion for the day after to stock up on all the half-priced candy.  It's strange how hyped up people get over such a lame holiday (any holiday you don't get the day off is not a holiday in my opinion).  I think with all the rushing around and preparations people seem to overlook how just being together without all of the flair is so much more important.  This past weekend, I got to go back to Starkville and visit Ryan.  I would be a liar if I said the distance wasn't effecting both of us, but somehow when we are able to be together everything just falls into place.  It's always difficult to try and make the time we get together count since it seems like our imminent departure looms overhead.  I'm trying to enjoy the little things and sometimes that just includes trips to the hospital in the early morning, or walking around talking about nothing, or a heart-to-heart in the middle of a restaurant.  Sometimes, I just get overwhelmed with everything and neglect to enjoy every moment.  I am in love with my husband and each day we are apart my love for him only grows.  I don't know what I did to be so blessed, but I am so thankful for Ryan and everything he is.  Because without him, I'm not my whole self.  I love you, Ryan.